Work and Play
by Blood Never Lies
Summary: Extended from a Oneshot. Post Dawn era, Walter tries to make things run efficiently and properly at Hellsing but Sir Arthur thinks he's too uptight for his age and a female Alucard has her own ideas on how to help Walter unwind...  W x GC
1. Chapter 1

**Oneshot. Do not own Hellsing.**

Walter hurried himself to the cellar, free for the moment to check something. His master had been increasing his amount of Irish Whisky lately to much larger quantities and Walter was

certain it wasn't just because he was frequently receiving more guests from the round table these days.

He gingerly pressed himself against the wall of the corridor and sneaked up to the door, pressing his cheek lightly on it so as not to open it further than the crack it already was. He was

certain he'd locked it but of course his Master Arthur had a key…

He heard the tell tale cling of glass on glass and the sound of pouring liquid. He grinned and kicked the door open.

"Got'cha!" he cried out triumphantly… to an empty room.

"What the..?" he muttered. He closed his eyes and tried to listen, beyond mice scurrying behind the wall and the sound of his breathing there was nothing. Walter held his breath and

concentrated… his gut told him something was here. He always listened to his gut.

"Alucard." he breathed out slowly. When he opened his eyes a young girl was leaned against a wall, her face the picture of innocence. Walter wasn't fooled… which was to say he chose

not to be. Alucard could be _very_ convincing when she…_he_… wanted to be.

The girl purred "Evening Walter." And favoured him with a coy smile, he might have almost believed he'd caught her being naughty, but the eyes above that sweet smile sparkled with

mischief.

Walter leaned on the doorframe and raised an eyebrow. "Alucard" he inclined his head formally "So just what brings a vampire to the Masters cellar at this late hour? Fancied a nightcap,

did we?" he gave her a patient smile to let her know he wasn't going to drop this topic till he had an answer.

Alucard leaned forward and gave him a big childish grin "I was just looking" she said happily, as though they were playing a game. Suddenly she scuffed a foot against the floor and

looked up at him with the smallest of pouts, her face all concern "Did I do something to upset you?" she asked the butler in a small voice.

* * *

Walter glared at her "Stop doing that." He growled at the vampire. This routine was getting monotonous; Alucard always did this to wind him up and unfortunately for Walter he couldn't

help but let it bother him. Alucard was hundreds of years old; Walter wished that he'd act his age sometimes.

The girl giggled "But Walter, then we'd both be stuffed shirts with no fun."

Walter gaped at her "Stuffed shirts!" he scoffed "I'm bloody sixteen! I know how to have fun!"

He tried to stop himself but he realised he'd fallen for that one hook, line and sinker.

The girl favoured him with a cheeky grin "Really?" she asked him with a sultry edge to her voice "Because I thought the great Walter Dolneaz was just a puppy dog, all eager to please his  
master…" she grinned "So you know how to have fun do you Walter?"

The butler sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Should have seen this one coming…" he muttered irritably to himself. He ran a hand down his waistcoat to a pocket, he brought out a

slightly battered packet of cigarettes and flicked it open. He put a cigarette to his lips and seemingly from nowhere a lighter appeared in his free hand. He lit the tobacco and inhaled

gratefully… sweet nicotine, what would he do without it?

The girl raised her eyebrows "You'd keep that pretty face for longer that's for sure." She said a bit sourly. Walter smiled, the other useful thing about them was how they irritated Alucard

so. Cigars, fine, but seemingly the vampire drew a line where fags were concerned.

"They age the skin and give you lung cancer." She retorted. "Basically they're bad for you Walter. You should pack them in."

Walter drew on the fag once more and smiled fondly at her "But you don't object to the Master having an odd cigar?"

Alucard shrugged indifferently "It's his life."

Walters smile broadened and he pressed her "But they cause throat cancer and what about the whisky? Isn't that slowly poisoning his liver?"

Alucard smiled and walked up to him, she stroked down his face with a fingertip and she went onto her toes to whisper "I don't care about what he wants to do with his body, my love."

Alucard purred into his ear her eyes once again mischievous.

Walters eyes widened and his mouth went dry "What- What did you just call me?" he asked incredulously.

Alucard grinned and backed away till the darkness covered the vampires face, her red eyes glinted in the shadows.

"I called you 'love' Walter dear, does that bother you? Why should it? 'Love' means lots of things Walter."

And with a laugh she disappeared into the wall.

Walter tried to shrug off the comment that Alucard had thrown at him, but despite all he tried it still bothered him. He shook his head for the third time that evening and tried hard to focus  
on finishing his tasks.  
_  
I don't care what he does to his body, eh? What does that mean exactly? Is it her way of saying 'hop into bed with me Walter, lets see what you can do'?_ He blinked hard and concentrated on

the task of finishing the dishes. He scrubbed harder at the pan and inspected it. It was perfectly clean, now onto the next dish. As he scrubbed at this one his mind went back to the

cellar, he'd not gotten a clear answer to his question, distracted as he had been by all the innuendo and implication. What the devil had she been doing in there in the first place?  
_  
Perhaps she knew you'd be heading there, old boy, maybe she wanted you alone._ Walter scoffed; the very notion she'd be there just to catch him alone! There were plenty of opportunities to

do that – what ego, what presumption! Whatever next, would she be stripping off and joining him for a shower? Get over yourself Walter! Besides, he and Alucard were partners, it

wouldn't be right… or was that it? Was he forbidden fruit?

Walter sighed in frustration. He was thinking too hard into this. He needed a break.

Outside he lit another cigarette and inhaled gratefully. The November wind blew a chill against his hands and face, like a slap of water on his skin. Walter rubbed his hands together to

remove the cold that bothered him. He paced and fretted for a few minutes before finally, admitting the cold was getting to him, he threw the half smoked butt away and returned to the

house.

As he entered he nearly bumped into Arthur Hellsing, his and Alucard's master and Leader of the Hellsing Organisation.

"Steady on there Walter! Nearly had me over my boy!" the tall blond man said cheerfully. "Damned cold weather, eh?" he said nodding to the door Walter had just come through.

Walter smiled softly and nodded. "Indeed it is, Sir. You'll catch a chill staying out there too long."

Arthur gave a great laugh at that "Hah! I've no inclination to stay out there long tonight! I've arranged to bring some company back to entertain me - I was heading out now to get them."

Walter smiled "Excellent sir, one shouldn't hide from ones friends."

Arthur chuckled "These aren't exactly friends Walter, more 'acquaintances' if you follow my meaning?"

Walter thought about that for a moment and then it dawned on him. "Oh sir…" he whined "Not this again!"

Arthur's frowned at the butler "What the devil do you mean by that Walter!"

Walter gave his master a look of disapproval "These… 'acquaintances', Sir, I really must protest against them being in this house."

Arthur rolled his eyes "God! I can't even get a bit of fun in my own house these days!"

Walters colour rose in his own cheeks "Well, far be it from me to tell you what to do sir. It's merely that the fact of the matter is that a man of your position shouldn't be seen consorting

with those types of ladies. It's not… appropriate."

Arthur hooted "That's a good one! I have a butler who cuts through battalions of ghouls when he's not cleaning the house and an undead monster in the basement who drinks blood for

sustenance, but you think my bringing back an occasional prostitute is something I should be more discreet about?" he chucked harder at that and shook his head in disbelief. "Take the

night off Walter; you clearly need to learn to have some more fun!"

As his master left the building Walter growled "Why does everyone _keep saying _that to me?"

Later as he reclined in the corridor and sipped at some tea Arthur returned. The tall man had brought two ladies back with him this time. God, Walter thought, does the man have no

shame? It was quite easy to guess what would happen now, his master having given him some time off would not be ordering him to do anything but if it might hurry certain festivities

along he would probably request things with a certain emphasis.

As Arthur helped the blonde out of a sumptuous coat Walter caught an indecent glimpse of more breast than he'd ever seen exposed in his life. That and the fishnet tights… he shook his

head in dismay, and the other was even worse! A showy corset that left nothing to the imagination beneath a generous face with hair of long, flowing red curls...

A truly devilish temptation, Walter reflected sourly. His master would certainly be hurrying that one into a private room with thick walls.

"I say, Walter old chap!" Arthur called from the doorway "I don't suppose a stiff drink is out of the question, eh? Something to give a man fire on this brisk night!" he gave the ladies a

suggestive look and they giggled.

"Oh Arthur, what a thing to suggest – look at the lad! He probably needs the drink more than you!" the red head chided the Hellsing leader.

Walter blushed and looked down into his empty china cup in an attempt to mask his discomfort, but Arthur laughed at the comment. "Now, now my dear, don't embarrass the poor lad

further! Whilst we're on the topic of drink; do you two fancy a nightcap?" he offered as innocently as he could under the circumstances.

Walter had heard enough "Sorry sir, but I believe you excused me for the evening. However if you need a drink, I left some whisky in your bedchamber" he walked away from the group

shaking his head in disgust "It's where you're headed anyway." He muttered sarcastically under his breath.

"Capital fellow!" Arthur called out to him, but Walter ignored the praise. When his Master cared to act like a proper gentleman he would be treated like one.

As he emptied his tea down the sink he heard his master explaining his behaviour to the ladies "You'll have to excuse the lad, he's a fine butler but he's a bit of a bore sometimes."

Walter stormed down the level of the building and kicked open the door to the cellar. Fuming with indignation he stood in the room and tried to calm himself down, 'a bit of a bore' indeed!

'No fun' indeed! It seemed he was to be thought of as boring by everyone in the damn house just because he had a brain that he cared to listen to more than his other organs!

However that last comment aside, he did want a smoke quite badly right now…

He looked around and shrugged, lighting up another cigarette and puffing on it.

"You seem vexed" the voice of one of the prostitutes whispered from the doorway behind him "perhaps some company would relax you?"

Walter snarled and turned to tell the woman to piss off back to Arthurs bedroom, however when he turned all he saw was Alucard, the 'girl' winked at him and grinned childishly.

"Fooled you!" she giggled.

Walter nodded and replied in a monotone. "Yes. So it would seem."

Alucard leaned on the doorway and looked sympathetic. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not bloody alright!" Walter snapped "Between you taunting me and stalking me through the corridors and Master bloody demanding whisky and god knows what else to slake his  
thirsts I never get a bit of bloody privacy!"

Alucard looked surprised for Walter had seldom lost his temper at him like this.

"Furthermore, when you think about it, is it any bloody wonder that I'm such a stick in the mud? All I do it bloody work!" he snarled at the vampire "So you'll excuse me if I don't share

your sense of humour." He finished sarcastically.

He sucked hard at the cigarette, preparing a round of suggestions for where Alucard and his Master could put their opinions about him, but before he could finish the pull from the fag

Alucard strode forward, a wicked smile on her face, and she slapped him hard across his mouth.

Walter gasped and blew the smoke out of his nose, making his eyes and nostrils sting from the fumes.

"What fierce insults Walter Dolneaz!" Alucard whispered into his ear and she grabbed a handful of his shirt and pushed him back against the nearest cask in the cellar.

"What-!" Walter gasped as the air was thumped out of him. A second later the vampire had straddled him and pressed her lips against his, muffling any further protest from the boy.

Walter was so shocked he couldn't even move, so he simply stared in confusion at Alucard as she slowly pressed harder into the kiss, her eyes sparkling with delight at his expression.

"Mmmf!"

He'd tried to say 'Alucard!' but as couldn't seem to break away from her and so it had come out as more of a cry for air. But it had gained him nothing; her lips remained locked on his,

something very cold had worked its way into his mouth and after a second Walter had allowed himself to give in to the moment.

He pressed back and twisted his head for a fuller kiss and after a few moments he nibbled at the cold tongue in his mouth, at which Alucard had pulled back with a girlish squeak and gave  
him a large, pleased smile.

"You're not a bad kisser Walter, a slow learner maybe, but still! You're not bad!"

Walter had finally found his senses, he gently pushed Alucard off and gave the vampire a small smile in return.

"Not bad? Perhaps I get a little more practise in than you think?"

Alucard's broadening smile informed him she knew better and Walter scowled at her.

"I hate that about you sometimes. Mindreading spoils all my fun."

* * *

**The End. R+R feedback is always appreciated.  
Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed this little piece.**


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own Hellsing

* * *

Walter watched Alucard leave, skipping in a playful fashion as she did so, her thick long hair bouncing behind her. He said nothing as he watched her exit the cellar. His lips tingled, he tried to tell himself it was a natural reaction and his skin was just warming up again after being pressed into the cold lips of Alucard.  
But it didn't change the fact he'd actually enjoyed that kiss…

Walter blinked and his mind went carefully blank as that thought entered his head. The butler stared into space for a few moments willing himself not to think about it. His well trained mind was very good at this, his job required him to be impartial to all but his masters needs in life. He was very good at _not_ thinking into things when he chose to do it.  
Unfortunately it wasn't working this time, no matter how much he willed otherwise, his mind replayed that one kiss continually and mentally he relived the sensation and it sent goose bumps and tingles up his body as he did so.

This wasn't good at all. It wouldn't do.  
Professionalism was the foundation upon all of which Walter had formed his life around. It was very unprofessional to consort with vampires when your job required you to kill them in the name of God and her Majesty. Also it was necrophilia which was illegal, and the last time he'd checked it was also immoral.

Well, those were very good reasons for why this singular incident would not repeat or be spoken of.  
Relieved at having good solid reason not to enjoy what he'd just done with Alucard, the butler headed back into the mansion. He just didn't need the complication of romance in his life right now.

Walter shook his head and sighed in frustration as he checked the rooms for something to occupy his time with. He'd been too thorough once again and there was nothing he could do unless he wanted to repeat chores that had already been done today, like polishing the silver for example.

As he considered doing just that, he caught a glimpse at his reflection in the silverware. He noted he was still flushed from earlier. Unbidden the kiss returned to his mind, and for a second Walter's imagination built onto the moment; Alucard's soft lips and dark hair tickling his face as the kiss became something more. He could almost hear her giggles of delight in his ears as his hands wrapped around her thin form…  
His mind clamped down on the fantasy. _No,_ it warned him that down that path lay trouble.

This was a fascination with the unknown; yes, that was the problem here! It was simply a strange experience that had happened too recently for him to fully absorb. He needed a mental ice breaker here and routine _would_ cure the problem.  
Yes, he would have a good cup of tea, take a cold shower and then a few hours of repeating the meaningless chores would surely put these fires and all too improper thoughts out of his mind and back into the realm of fantasy where they rightly belonged.

"One can only hope." He mumbled to himself as he left the room with all its polished silverware and went to see if his Master was wanting for anything other than sexual release this evening.

He jogged lightly up the stairs, his feet pattering softly on the carpeted floors as he went up a few floors. He headed for his masters bed chambers, if they were empty then it would find something to do in there, changing the linen or dusting...?  
Or perhaps he'd even be able to delay the inevitable fornication for a while with some music or engaging his Master in conversation?

But as he reached the bedroom of Sir Arthur Hellsing he realised luck wasn't on his side. Thankfully the majority of the sounds were muffled by the solid oak doors, but it was rather obvious what Arthur Hellsing was up to in there and he didn't want to get involved with it.  
Walter cursed his Masters rather voracious appetite in women. Really, two in the bedroom at the same time was the height of scandalous behaviour!

The young butler tutted and shook his head in disapproval; he reminded himself that he was only the butler, and it wasn't his place to make comment or pass judgement. Not even when he was in his rights to have them.

He resigned himself to the inevitable and made his way back down to the first floor where he went into the kitchen and put the kettle on, preparing the cup and condiments for his tea before he had a quick scout around the ground floor for left over dishes the Master and his 'friends' might have left. Aside from a few used whisky tumblers and an odd plate there really wasn't much to do. He shrugged and brought them all back on a silver tray and washed them before the kettle clicked in readiness for his evening brew.

A steaming cup of Ceylon in his hand Walter strolled casually into the main lobby and settled down comfortably on the stairs. He placed the cup down on the ground and after ensuring that he was alone he pulled out a fresh cigarette from the packet in his pocket and lit up. He drew gratefully on it and picked up the cup beside him, savouring the warmth flowing into his hands and he closed his eyes.  
He enjoyed moments of stillness and silence...  
Well he would have but he _still_ couldn't shake that kiss from his head!  
He shook himself and frowned, what in God's name was wrong with him?

He tried to go to another part in his head, tried to mentally put himself back to a week ago, a month, any stage before all this nonsense had started. But every time he did he was reminded of every incident that had involved Alucard. The playful cheeky glint in 'her' eyes and that deceptive soft giggle of amusement…

He gritted his teeth and shook his head, growling in annoyance, leaving his tea where it was he all but ran to his room, bolted the door then hurried into the shower in the room adjacent to his bedchamber. He turned the shower on, pleasant warm water washed over him and he scrubbed his chest with soap, taking his time to savour the warmth on his back…  
He threw his head back into the spray, his thick black hair matting onto his head as the water soaked it.  
_Unclean thoughts begone!_ He mentally commanded as he scrubbed his hair with soap.

When the thoughts wouldn't go Walter sighed and turned the hot water off.  
Cold water streamed down onto naked pale skin in the shower. Walter gasped and trembled underneath its icy temperature, "God!" he gasped loudly, shivering uncontrollably.  
After a minute he could bear no more of it, and he turned up the heat up so it was only a cooling spray instead of something that would induce hypothermia. He sank to his knees then sat down, his hair plastered to his head and his eyes shut as he breathed slowly.

"You're going catch your death in there. You're really over reacting you know, it was just a harmless little kiss Walter. There's no harm in enjoying a kiss…" Alucard commented softly as she watched him from his bathrooms door way.

Walter sighed and nodded in the shower, replying "Yes I know, it's just that I– JESUS CRIST IT'S YOU!"  
Walter covered himself when he realised with her powers the girl could see everything that he had on display.  
"Damn it, can't you give me some privacy for a few minutes?" he demanded angrily.  
"Apparently not," Alucard smirked and she arched an eyebrow at Walter "and there's no need to be so bashful little Angel, you've got nothing that I haven't seen before."  
Walter felt a flush rise up his cheeks and he shouted "Just go away!" he snapped.

"Why should I? I'm fed up and I'm lonely." Alucard replied sulkily as she leaned back in the doorway and toyed with her long hair idly.  
Walter groaned and turned the shower off "Look away at least." He requested gruffly "It's bad enough you're interrupting my schedule for the evening without you embarrassing me further as well."  
The girl laughed "Why Walter, last I saw you were sipping tea in the lobby. Exactly what 'schedule' was I interrupting? Admit it I'm not really interrupting anything, am I?"  
The young man huffed "As a matter of fact you are."  
"Oh? Were you going to be naughty and play with yourself in the shower? Is that what I'm interrupting?" Alucard's voice was teasing and yet it sounded like a serious question at the same time.

Walter stepped out of the shower and began towelling water off his chest and back "As if I'd disgrace myself in such a manner! You shut that filthy mouth of yours!" he snapped at her "and I thought I told you to look away!"  
"Yes, but I never agreed to do any such thing." Alucard smirked and winked "Nice legs, by the way." She purred and ran a finger up the back of one of his thighs with an approving noise and pinched his bum with a giggle.

His patience finally snapping Walter spun around and threw the towel at her, Alucard caught it and laughed but her laughter stopped as the weight of an angered sixteen year old followed the towel in hot pursuit. The still wet, naked form of Walter crashed into the vampire girl and tackled her into the next room.  
The girl shrieked in glee and surprise as she was knocked to the floor.  
"What fun!" she gasped happily. Walter was on top of her, his teeth set in an angry snarl.  
"Go on Walter! What's next? Do I have to take my clothes–ghh!"

The butler's towel was shoved into the vampires mouth and Alucard's expression went from amused to angry, but she had no time to react as the Hellsing butler grabbed her by her hair and heaved her to her feet.  
He man handled the struggling vampire to the door and unbolted it.  
"Just piss off and leave me alone for once!" the boy snarled and threw her out into the hallway. It wasn't a gentle throw, the girl slammed into the wall and collapsed in a heap.

Walter was red in the face from humiliation and panting with suppressed emotions, he wiped water from his dripping hair off his face. But when Alucard didn't move he paused for a moment, worried he'd overdone it.

The 'girl' let out a weak groan and spat out the towel as she rubbed her head. Walter rolled his eyes and shut the door. As the door clicked however, he heard something that made him pause again.  
A snivelling noise was coming from beyond his door…  
He opened it a crack and saw the vampire sobbing great tears down her cheeks, her lower lip trembling and her eyes were closed in hurt as she bawled miserably.  
Walter felt simultaneously disgusted at himself and the vampire out in the hall. He felt like he'd kicked a puppy.

"Are… you crying?" he regretted the idiot question the moment it came out of his mouth, of _course_ she was crying!  
"Wha- What do you think I'm doing?" she hiccupped between sobs. Her bawls were getting steadily noisier, concerned the noise would bring down the Master from his bedroom, Walter opened the door and hurried over to the 'girl'.

"All right, all right." He soothed "Okay, I'm sorry I flung you out into the hall way."  
Alucard sniffed and wiped her nose with her hand as she composed herself a little bit, much to the butler's relief.  
Somehow it didn't seem quite sufficient though…  
"Would you like to come in? I can keep you company for a bit" he mumbled as he recalled her earlier comment about loneliness.  
The vampire girl nodded slightly and the butler helped her up before they both returned to his bedroom.

Inside his room the girl vampire sat down on the edge of his bedsit as Walter finished drying and changed back into his uniform. Her face was hidden in the darkness and it was impossible to tell her expression.  
Walter suspected she'd played on his emotions a bit out there. He'd never seen her cry before, and he doubted that his rough handling had been enough to really hurt someone like her.  
He pulled his pants up and tucked his shirt into them before he did them up.  
"So Walter, aren't you going to say sorry?" Alucard asked sweetly.  
Walter turned around and found the vampire staring at him from only an inch away from his face.

He gave a cry of surprise and jerked away, falling on his backside as he did so.  
A moment later the girl was straddled on top of him, leaning down over him.  
Walter's mouth was dry and he couldn't even protest as Alucard leaned in and planted a second kiss on his lips that evening.  
It was, in his opinion, even better than the first one.

"Don't you suppose I deserve a little compensation for that treatment Butler?" Alucard asked.  
"W-what?" he croaked out and cleared his throat.  
"I mean, throwing me out into the corridor..?" the vampire tutted at him "That's hardly polite."  
"You wouldn't have gone if I'd asked-" he started to protest.  
"I know butler, hush now." the girl soothed him and leaned in, stopping his lips with her own once again.  
Walter moaned in frustration – so much for not repeating his mistakes! What would Sir Arthur say if he came in and saw this!

"You worry too much." She chuckled "you need to relax more Walter." She advised with a brilliant smile.  
"And how do I do that?" the butler demanded.  
"Well for a start, don't freak out over kissing someone. Find some other way to vent."  
"Do you see any ghouls around here?" Walter asked sarcastically "because beyond housework that's all I have to vent my frustrations on. Things like Warsaw don't happen on a regular basis."  
"Oh really? So you're saying 'no' to sex then?"  
Walter flushed crimson and stammered "I… hold on! What?"  
Alucard threw her head back and laughed like a hyena. "God Walter! You're a real stiff! If the mention of the sex gets you that nervous and worked up then the actual thing would probably kill you!"  
"Well you brought it up!" Walter replied hotly.  
"Hmm… that's true." the white clad female raised an eyebrow and mused over it for a moment.

Her eyes went crafty and she looked down haughtily "Alright be boring. We won't do anything naughty to relieve those frustrations of yours." she sighed to herself and tried to think of other options.  
Walter blushed fiercely, with her legs so tight around him and her breasts to close it was hard for him not to think about sex… it wasn't so much that he didn't want it, but he simply wouldn't be able to put up with the fuss Sir Arthur would make about him complaining about the prostitutes when he was busy screwing the vampire…  
"Oh is that all that's bothering you?" she asked the butler, renewed excitement in her eyes "I know how to fix that problem." She promised with a cheeky grin.

It was the early hours of the morning. Walter's room was still the source of shouting and thumping. The commotion had gone on long enough to disturb even Arthur Hellsing from his sleep, despite how much he worn himself out with the ladies earlier in the evening. The master of the Hellsing manor grumbled softly and rubbed his eyes and his head as he made his way down the stairs to the lower floor. Down here the noise was even more concentrated._  
Have to admire the lad's persistence in honing his talents at fighting,_ Arthur thought sleepily_ but this is hardly the time…  
_"Come on, is that all you've got butler!" a feminine voice crowed from behind the door.  
"I'm no where near finished!" the boy said between pants for air.  
Arthur frowned, that definitely sounded like Walter… but was that Alucard in there? What the hell were they doing making so much racket at this hour?  
"Oh come on butler, you're so boring!" the girl mocked "And after all that talk earlier about how you'd make me scream…"  
there was a thump followed by the sound of two people hitting the floor and grunting, the girls voice cried out  
"Oh! Ow, not so hard!"

Arthur stared incredulously at the door, not quite believing what he was hearing. That was definitely Alucard in there! The vampire sounded pretty excited…  
Suddenly it hit him, of course! The boy had given into his more carnal needs! They were going at it like rabbits! Why hadn't he seen this coming? Why hadn't he commanded Alucard to take a less appealing form?

Unable to resist it any longer the leader threw open the door.  
"I command you both to stop this at once!" he shouted.  
The vampire and the butler looked at him from the floor with confusion. Walter was knelt over the girl, his hand holding her down by her neck as his other had her arm twisted painfully behind her back.

"Eh?" Arthur muttered "What the hell is that position for? Your angles all wrong if you're going to do some-" he faltered as the butler looked sickened and the vampire started giggling.  
"What's so funny?" he asked brusquely.

"Mah- Master! You… you thought Walter was… was.." the vampire cracked up and once again burst into laughter.  
Seeing his vampiric agent was beyond herself he turned to the more contained one. "Please explain this Walter." He asked.  
When Walter explained to him they were simply wresting because he felt the need to practise after the events of Warsaw he felt rather foolish indeed.  
"Erm, I don't suppose we could forget this happened could we dear fellow?" Arthur beseeched "Islands would have a right chuckle at this one…"  
Walter nodded "Yes of course Sir."  
"Capital!" Arthur sagged with relief "Well, I'll let the two of you get on with your wrestling. Just keep it down eh, some of us need sleep?" he reminded them as he closed the door.

When the door clicked and the sounds of their masters footsteps had gone the butler let out a great exhale. "Too close for comfort! Next time warn me sooner when he's going to come into the room." He hissed. He was cut off as Alucard grabbed him by his tie and pulled him back on top of her with a giggle  
"Stop complaining butler and let me have some fun." And with that she pressed her lips over his and began passionately kissing the butler.

* * *

Please R+R


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